31 Days of Growing Up: Day 2

I’d been married for a couple of years when I stuck a toe over the edge of  adulthood. I started to eat around the outside of my grilled cheese sandwich to get to the good part? (rule followers unite!)

me and lou

Lou and Me circa: Grilled Cheese Epiphany

After I realized that I wasn’t hungry enough to eat the whole thing, I actually contemplated my options. To continue eating around the outside of the sandwich and be full by the time I got to the gooey good stuff, or throw caution to the wind, rip off the remaining crusts and dig in.

Kind of trivial now, but I remember how liberating it felt to throw out those nasty dry crusts and  go for the cheese.  I guess it could be a little risky if you’re surrounded by hungry wolves, but generally, this is not a big deal.

I think about that sandwich often.  A simplistic, yet essential threshold that I crossed into a  new world of choices.

We begin life with every last detail being administrated by someone else.  When we sleep, what we eat, how we’re dressed, where we go, everything, determined by other people.

If we are intentionally guided into making these choices for ourselves, it’s possible we aren’t even aware of the process.  But I’m going to make an assumption that most of us had a fairly jagged journey.  And the level to which we’re aware of that journey determines the way we respond when we begin to make real decisions that affect our choices, our beliefs and the direction our lives.

When I say Growing Up, it’s that process of awareness  that I’m referring to.  That grilled cheese did a lot more than add to my calorie intake, it awakened my recognition of the choices that I made every single day.

We make copious amounts of decisions in a day, let alone a lifetime.  There is a thought process behind each and every decision whether we’re aware of it or not. You’ve probably heard it said that not making a decision, is still a decision.  Where we grocery shop, the clothing we wear, what time we go to bed, each of these seemingly insignificant decisions is based on some kind of belief system.  Not belief about how you worship or practice spirituality, but belief about how you view yourself, who you believe yourself to be, and what course the journey of your life is taking.   It’s when you stack   up all of those decisions, that you end up with the direction of your life.

You should know that I’ve been aware of this process for a long time.  I could tell you about decisions and beliefs and the idea that not making a choice is making a choice long before I began to see how those streams of thought played out in my own life.   I had knowledge of the processes, but not understanding of them and as a result, I lived a long time in some very difficult places.  As I begin to embrace who I was created to be, which is markedly different from what anyone, and I mean a-ny-one,  wants me to be, I am discovering the joy and peace that I used to talk about.  I had a lot of chatter in my head and out my mouth about those  things, and very little actually reaching the puddles of insecurity in my own soul.

These are the ideas I plan on exploring this month, along with plenty of other fun stuff along the way.  What about you?  Can you see remember a decision you made that marked the beginning of adulthood for you?  Got any pieces of the puzzle that you think might unlock something for the rest of us?

Would you consider sharing any of those moments or ideas?


You can find all the posts from this series here.  Thanks for stopping by!

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I'm a forty something women managing a busy family, working as a hair designer and trying to use my big-girl words.

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