31 Days of Growing Up: Day 3

If you’ve just joining us, you’ll find the entire series here.

Taking responsibility for our choices in life grows out of the deep understanding that we play a role in a bigger story.  Family gatherings, traditions, stories that become generational legends all serve to ground us in an extensive framework outside of ourselves.

When that foundation is solid in our lives through family bonds or strong community ties, we’re grounded in a deep sense of security.  Free to explore choices and try on ideas with the understanding that the framework that will continue to exist whether we choose to be a part of it or not.

For profuse reasons, the framework that surrounded  my life was disintegrated.  It’s taken years to begin to build a new foundation for my own family. Because  traditions, gatherings and stories ceased to support my life, I snubbed them in an attempt to insulate myself from the pain associated with those memories.

One Christmas, a child of mine referred to a memory from the previous year.  This  peep claimed that it was tradition, that we did this particular activity every year.  I was instantly agitated with no reasonable account for my response.  I felt adrenaline shoot through my body and remember thinking, “are you kidding me, we did that one time, one time does not a tradition make, we don’t do tradition”  Years have past, and now I can see several segments of my life that contributed to my response, but at that point, I just knew that particular child had pushed some obscure button and I had no idea why.

Taking note of internal responses that are disproportionate to external circumstances is essential to the process of growing up and taking responsibility for our own choices.

Pay attention to unexpected emotional triggers that are pulled in your own life.  Personal growth occurs when we dive into those responses and choose to look at them honestly until new understanding emerges.

brene brown selectively numb

I’m a little late to the party, but was introduced to Brene Brown last year. Her insights on growth, vulnerability and the roots of shame have helped reshape how I process my life. If you don’t have time for a book, just do a search of her quotes.  You’ll have fuel for thought until we pay off our national debt.  

I have absolutely no idea what I’m going to share, but I’ll see you back here tomorrow!  I’m so grateful that you’ve chosen to stop by today!

You can find the entire Growing Up series here.

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I'm a forty something women managing a busy family, working as a hair designer and trying to use my big-girl words.

5 thoughts on “31 Days of Growing Up: Day 3”

  1. Marcy…enjoying your words…you are gifted. Don’t know if you have ever run into Shauna Niequist (Bill Hybels daughter) writings…if not I think you would really enjoy her stuff. She has written 3 books-Cold Tangerines, Bittersweet and Bread and Wine. She also has a blog here: http://www.shaunaniequist.com. Her stuff is really good. Another writer you might enjoy is Chelsea Batten…chelseabatten.com.

    Keep it up! God is using you!


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