31 Days of Growing UP: Day 18

My writing has been like Carmen Sandiego this week.  All over the map.  


The Process, Red Letter Girl, Toggling Bobbleheads, that’s just how my brain mixes it up.

I’m a Right-Choicing Red-Letter Girl with a Wobbly Head leaning into The Process to fight my way through lies in my head in order to live out Truth in my life.  Most of the time, it’s an ugly battle.

I fight against making truthful choices because I just want someone else to do the hard stuff for me. I’m a huge baby like that.

Growth comes down to choices, but not necessarily always right ones.  Sometimes a neutral or backward choice is better than doing the Right Thing.   Every waking moment of our day holds a choice about the next task, the next errand, the next entertainment, the next relational exchange and most importantly about how we think about all those choices.

At 0500 this morning, I made the choice as I do most days.  Hit the snooze and sleep another 12 minutes. The funky junk descended around 0530 and I’m tellin you I was under it.  I sat with  my coffee and begin to untangle my thoughts.  The knots didn’t budge.

I sat down to write and the words were  dark alleys leading to mental defeat before dawn.

The choices we make when faced with destructive thoughts are the choices that count the most.  

Mentally right-choicing our thoughts is something I believe that’s under our control.  But I’m an overly-deep feeler and often, I have to dump the mental right choice in favor of  rebooting the whole system.

Let me explain how I did that this morning. The  words didn’t come and I had a self-imposed writing deadline, I was under the funky junk and round two of get-em-out-the-door was almost ready to start.  I had a choice. To trudge on, uphill, in skates, on a glacier.  Or reboot.

Sometimes we have to stop making forward progress to actually see growth.

I had 16 minutes before I had to wake the next child, so I  chose to lay on the couch for 12 of those minutes  thinking about nothing but my breathing.

A system reboot.

By giving myself the time to regroup and making a conscious choice to let the funk go, I gave God the space to do his thing in the supernatural realm allowing his spirit to be my fuel.

 It is vain for you to rise up early, to take rest late, to eat the bread of [anxious] toil—for He gives [blessings] to His beloved in sleep.  

Psalm 127:2

I this this scripture in Psalm speaks to our motivation.  If we are motivated to Right Choice our way through our life,  God calls that anxious toil.  The thought of the phrase anxious toil makes my neck hurt.

God want us to rest in the growth that comes through trusting completely in him, not our own efforts. We experience his rest when we  reboot.

If growth is like the wheels on a  train, a reboot is like the axle that propels the wheels forward. By taking the time to reboot, it  appears as though we’ve lost ground, looks like we’re moving backward.  But that backward movement ends up propelling us forward.

It’s a double-back to pick up pieces dropped. A regathering.

Rebooting can be a song, or a coffee.  A short drive or 2 minutes in the closet, with the light off, hiding. It can be a deliberate 10 second walk to the other room or  an overnight away. A phone call to a friend or one of my favorites, the Costanza method – Serenity Now.

Do you have deliberate ways that you reboot your system?  Do you call it something different?  Would you consider sharing what works for you?

This weekend, I’ll be posting some links that I use to reboot.  I hope you’ll stop by. If you’re enjoying this series, if you follow my blog, new posts will come directly to your inbox.  You can unsubscribe at any time.

You can find the rest of this series here.

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I'm a forty something women managing a busy family, working as a hair designer and trying to use my big-girl words.

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