This friends, is a good day. One in which I will give you the status of the Humble Holder Household.
The physical household is just an absolute disaster after weeks of actual calendar Holidays (I just tried to apply the -ies rule to holiday: fail) followed by possibly the most school-year Snolidays since the ice-age.
The fridge is bare. Requisite storm staples of eggs milk and bread have left room for little else in that big cold box. Yesterday I walked in the kitchen to find a child making a butter sandwich, which I just spelled sandwhich.
We haven’t had a nutritious meal since Thanksgiving and that one was questionable with the butter and all. Rules of nutrition, housekeeping and grammar, have apparently been flattened under the weight of our massive snow drifts.
I’ve been wearing yoga pants for 65 days straight – it’s gonna get ugly at some point.
We started just a small little project in the bathroom because, well, broken walls. Let’s just fix the wall and toss up a little paint, maybe some new ceramic on the floor, we said. And the next thing you know, this.
The bathroom floor has a big hole and my husband had to dam the toilet with a dirty rag. And also this is the second post in a row that I’ve been able to fit the word dam in, in a totally legit no-swearing sort of way, not that I’m opposed to the occasional colorful word or anything.
The garage is full of outgrown shoes, VHS tapes and various other unlovables, but I’m happy to report that the shelves are still on the wall. Spawned belongings have been put on ice for a rummage sale in the Spring, which we’re hoping will arrive by mid-June.
The kids will be making up snow days until October and the weeks are so mixed up that no one knows the current spelling list.
My computer and printer are going through nasty a divorce and quit speaking to one another weeks ago.
I can’t tell you the last time I washed my hair and if you see me at Marsh, I will look 762 years older than the last time you saw me. (see above remark regarding yoga pants)
Yesterday half a litre of shampoo washed down the shower drain. Early reports were that the floor looked like an infomercial for Scrubbing Bubbles. The latest is that if you step carefully over the 42″ chasm, you can still shower.
But wait, there’s MORE!
This is where we get into the exciting stuff. Yes, indeed, there is good news here.
The disarray of the house, hole in the floor, yea verily not even the loitering of children can dampen my blazing excitement!!!
I mentioned on Monday that there might be a shift in my schedule soon.
I’m excited to announce that soon is Today.
My husband took a new job which will bring his irregular, 12 hour, every-third-weekend shifts to an end. Now, before you join me in my victory dance, you need to know exactly how hard you’re gonna to need to shake it.
In the last 20 years he has worked every odd shift imaginable with the majority of those years including some sort of weekend work.
normal: conforming to a standard; usual, typical, or expected.
Our life has been full of many things, but normal has never been one of them, though I’m beginning to have hope.
We’ve been short on the nor and long on the mal, unless, of course, you examine the second definition of nor in which case we’ve had plenty of : struggle that never seemed to end.
1. used before the second or further of two or more alternatives (the first being introduced by a negative such as “neither” or “not”) to indicate that they are each untrue or each do not happen.
2. used to introduce a further negative statement.“the struggle did not end, nor was it any less diminished”
1. in an unpleasant degree
2. in a faulty manner
I’m certain that my etymology teacher would be proud to learn that I continue to pull apart words today, if only for my own personal growth and that of the 35 people that follow my blog.
Mr. Tetrick had a metal plate in his forehead and I have very fond memories of sitting in his class at 7:05 (a.m.), taking full advantage of his generous restroom passes and watching Brian Paul stick kleenex in his ears for the sole purpose of making us all laugh.
So, I have no idea what my original plan for this post was exactly, but now you know this most fabulous good news!
And, as if all of these exciting goings-on were not enough…..
I have a super amazing friend, also from high school, who gave me a massage gift certificate for Christmas. At 1 pm I get to see Miss Debbie for what will undoubtedly be the most relaxing hour of my month. (Thanks Waymire!)
Alrighty friends, I’m gonna shuffle, but I’ll be back real soon. I think things are about to get exciting up in these parts.
But first, in honor of my husbands new job, my years in high school and love of words, and with fond memories of Mr. Tetrick, I leave you with Muted High School Monk Impersonators and their version of the hallelujah chorus.
(please pretend that the laughing and cheering the happy sounds of me and my husband)
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