Sometimes answers come at 4 a.m.

I woke up to them.

Does everyone have words waiting by the side of the bed that follow them to the bathroom at four a.m.?  I can see them, like yellow fuzzy ducklings, waddle, quack, chirpchirpchirp, all in a row.

Pulling the fuzziest blanket under my chin, I jumped back in my warm bed and  tried to ignore them.

For real.

Spring break!

Four a.m.

Dark and cold.

My kids had already declared the week boring, but the morning felt like a gift and I

Two half turns and three sighs later, the only choice was to follow them.

In the days of Ask Jeeves, I’d wake up to the words and flip into attack mode. Typing a phrase and hitting *enter* can bring thousands of sites to fingertips but can rarely search and bring solace to a soul. Thank goodness years have taught me that time is valuable.

authentic questioners

The whispers continued as I started the coffee. I knew the words were from a song and hated to admit that I couldn’t remember if it was actual scripture or not.  You’d think with all those sword drills, I could remember a thing like that, but when life gets messy and hearts twist inside out, the ink on the pages begins to run together for all the tears.  It’s taken me just about forever, I’m learning that  the day always answers the question, so I poured my coffee and grabbed my stack of books.

I’ve been keeping company with John in the weeks leading up to Easter and wasn’t surprised to find the answer to my question on the page where I’d left off. (and good grief, I just quoted it in a post)

  I give you a new commandment that you should love one another. Just as I have loved you, so you too should love one another.  By this shall all men know that  you are my disciples, if you love one another if you keep on showing love among yourselves.     John 13:34-35

There would have been a time when I found more delight in sharing with you why these words were important for me to read on this specific day than just being thankful that I’d found them. Phone calls would be made, coffee arranged as I attempted to share with you the soft wave of grace that was meant for me.

I would have told you in awkward detail of issues in my family, a car ride to Indy, a Spirit-filled service, the faces I saw that day and in doing so I would have explained away the wonder of God; like trying to capture the facets of a diamond with an erasable marker on a whiteboard.  I would have expected you to grasp the glory in the revelation that God meant for me.

Thank goodness I’m getting over myself and learning that God can teach you exactly what you need to know for the daily details of your life and the heart-gripping experiences that you’ve had.

I mean really, when God wakes you up consistently at four and five a.m. it’s not because he wants you to phone a friend.  When we’re honestly searching for answers in life and are willing to follow, we find an intimate God in infinite circumstances.

Authentic questioners cultivate the ability to hear God  in the most daily of  life.

As I’ve learned to give the questions to the God who wrote eternity on my heart, the answers show up in the faces of friends, on the drive to the post office, in conflicts with family, and on the very next page of the novel I’m reading.  They’re in the scripture that I read and the song on the radio playing at exactly the right moment.  If you dare to ask them and accept the double-dog dare to listen, I promise you’ll hear.

infinite god

Is there a specific question you’d dare to voice in the comments today?  I wouldn’t begin to reply with an answer, but I’d love to join you on the journey.


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I'm a forty something women managing a busy family, working as a hair designer and trying to use my big-girl words.

3 thoughts on “Sometimes answers come at 4 a.m.”

  1. Marcy this blog has been following me around all week! Sentences leading the pack: “…would have expected you to glory in the revelation God meant for me” “God can teach need…your life…your experiences” and the one that makes me chuckle “God doesn’t wake us up at 4 am to phone a friend” !! Truly! Hits the mark on where i have lived for a long time.. Also, I’m no expert on writing, but this is some really good stuff. Very well written. Publishable.


  2. Ps. 2 questions that have gripped me recently that God is teaching me to live with:
    – where does deep disappointment fit in the grand story…? and
    – once God becomes silent, will He really speak to me again in ways that won my heart in the beginning?

    No answers expected! 🙂


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