For the day when confusion freezes momentum

Cracks on Yellow Asphalt

It’s a day I’d like to get away from myself for just a few minutes.  It seems I’m irreparably broken and while I don’t believe the lie that everyone else isn’t, they seem to be more accomplished at filling in the cracks.

These are the feelings that rush in after days heavy with fruitfulness.  I drip the purpose of who I am, conversation after connection after commitment and am understandably empty.

Seems I can cycle pouring, retreating, refilling, only so many times before the next fissure appears.

I wonder why I can’t be content to stand still in my soul while marching ahead in cadence, and why the forward movement always comes with a price higher than the last.

The marchers look accomplished with full cups and pots and there doesn’t seem to be a unit small enough to measure what my soul manages to squeeze out.

Weary from a day of comparison, I want to get away from my needy-self.

But apparently, I am always with me.

So, I refocus, dive in to all I am not to become more of all I am.

We have to speak truth, with a voice of conviction, into the small places where we are the most frail in order to hush the voice winnowing through our humanity.

 

Those very small  moments of frailty allow us to reach into the tiny crack in another’s heart specifically because of our brokenness.  

Today, when momentum is frozen by the confusion of comparison, I remember the recent moments when I’ve held hearts and shared tears and choose to tell myself true things and let the beat of his heart mark my time.

Jeremiah 31:3   I have loved you with an everlasting love.

Psalm 34:18  I am close to the brokenhearted and save those who are crushed in spirit.

II Corinthians 12:10  For when I am weak, then I am strong

 

8 thoughts on “For the day when confusion freezes momentum

  1. Marcy, good morning. I long for the time when “peace be still” is understood. I have wrestled with patience and joy wishing I could just knock out all the negative thoughts in my head by just one command that keeps them from reentering. I know God is my strength and he is the only one in my life that will never forsaken me and will always be there for me. I hope and pray your days as well as mine will be filled with peace and the command “peace be still” will stand. Love ya girlie.

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    • Guess the once and for all is where we all struggle Buff! I think that’s why Jesus taught us to pray On Earth as it is In Heaven. The more we see with eternity’s eyes, the uglier things look here. Glad to be walkin it out with you!!

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  2. You really need to stop reading my mind and heart. Lol. Actually don’t because you put it into words better than I ever dream of doing. Thank you for sharing from the bottom of your heart and for being the wonderful God fearing woman that you are. God Bless

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  3. HUMMMM girls weekend?

    Kathleen Harvey http://www.kathleenharvey.com Young Living Essential Oils Pour on the Power Facebook/Twitter @PourOnThePower IG @kathleenharveyoils Request to see my Essential Oils 101 class Yokes are destroyed and burdens removed because of the anointing oil. Isaiah 10:27

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